Exploring the barrows north of the fort formerly known as Drelev’s, looking for. . .
Why are we down here again? Oh, we wanted to snatch the secret orcish weapon before the Tigerlillies do. Also it’s just nice to be out and about, I spend so much time on paperwork these days! At any rate, it’s been hard going, but there’s so much fodder for new verse down here!
We fought some devils (demons? Look up the difference again) Quite monstrous and ugly. Hideous smell too.
And with them the Tigerlillies’ black sisters. Hm. What rhymes with sisters. Blisters? Ew. Myster-ies? No, that’s hack work. Twisters? Did Tansÿ summon any hurricanes during the fray? I don’t remember. Note to self, maybe lay off those
87 85 remaining bottles for a day or two: I really should remember if there was a cyclone INSIDE a dungeon.
No wait she turned into a mammoth, I think. What in the nine hells rhymes with mammoth?? Maybe I’ll just focus on her later, when she turned into a giant spider.
Spider, plied her, fly the, miser, glider,
Note to self #2 talk to Tansÿ about animals with easier rhyme schemes. Like goat! Goat boat throat vote note stoat tote float yote. Wonderful! I guess maybe ‘oh no, a very large goat’ is less intimidating than, say, surprise stegosaurus. To be fair it would depend on the size of the goat, though. Those things will eat anything! I once saw a smithy’s goat chew clean through her emergency backup anvil.
Giant demon spider. When I first saw it, this seemed like it would make a good elegy – but a few runes of banishing (that I won betting on a game of drinksmash) just got rid of it, so. Could be useful to tell as a tavern tale though, makes us seem pretty impressive.
I’ll leave out the part where it sent the boy a bit mad though. Tans said Ambrosius was affected too, but I thought the big puppy was just enjoying herself!
Other things to leave out:
*Tansÿ almost falling into a pit trap (as a spider, if you can believe it! I guess all those legs must be tricky to handle)
*Yngvï getting possessed by some sort of… Fetch? Doppelgänger? Timeghost?
*The odd little workers’ quarters we keep coming across. Looting their kit may be financially worthwhile but it’s not really what goes ‘in the stories’ as they say
The fight against the iron golem might make a good ode – dangerous beast, difficult (gods, so difficult) to wound, spells just bouncing off it, but our heroes ultimately save the day. Definitely write this one up. Hm, note to self #3, come up with a background that’s not ‘and then we bumbled into the golem’s room’
Golem, stolen, bowl-em (over)… WHY DOESN’T ANYTHING RHYME TODAY
Maybe a paedagogic poem about architecture? Whoever designed this place was well versed in dungeon lore – puzzles and traps everywhere. Ooh, or maybe a composition about dealing with the boulder room, droning pipes overlaid with some higher pitched piping for Tansÿ discussing matters with the stones, then slow building low drums for pushing them into place?
Definitely instrumental only. ‘And then the brave heroes did push push push the rocks away’ is not going to play in the arena.
Now, ‘The Skellington Lords of the Secret Cavern’ would be an excellent title! But I worry this would be a bit of a flop. Too spooky for childlings! And not spooky enough for grownups. I know from talking to adventurers back in the day that skellingtons were almost considered chaff – ‘then out popped half a hundred skellingtons’, a burly cleric of Thor told me, ‘and we smashed em to pieces! Easy as drinking’. Maybe he was just lying; the skellingtons who ambushed us were formidable warriors! However it turns out if you set them on fire they don’t last long. Like with most things, except Elëvn. But I have so many arrow holes in my cloak that need patching.
I’m not going to get any new poems out of this am I. Sure hope this örcilicus or orcscalibur or orcamorcä or whatever it’s called is worth something!